Something old, something new...

It just turned midnight and I may finally have a blog layout which I’m somewhat content with.

So, several months ago now, for certain reasons I privated my old blog. Today I finally got round to unprivating it, however, I’ve been toying with the idea of starting a new blog for a bit so…here it is. I will probably flick back and forth between the two; I want this to be for proper, written, structured content, but will probably continue to use my old blog for pic spams and things like that.

Soon after privating my old blog, I started to try and cut back on my internet activity. This had a lot to do with my then up and coming exams, and the fact I didn’t want to fail them at all, and so, for the first time in my life, really, properly, seriously and determinedly studied for my exams. However, I still ended up spending a good deal of time on the internet. I was successful in not dailyboothing, except for a couple of occasions, and I stopped reading blogs and watched less youtube videos. But the type of activity you participate in is different to the actual number of minutes spent online, and twitter and facebook…well, I was still on them. Quite a lot. And probably more than I should have been.

However, looking back…I wasn’t on the internet as much as I thought at the time. Then, any time not working felt like forever because I felt like I “HAD TO BE WORKING 24/7 AND IF I DIDN’T I WOULD DIE OMG!!!!”. And twitter and facebook were a good outlet, as well as helping to generate and maintain a sense of community with my fellow examinees.

Still, I probably could have spent just a little less time refreshing my browser.

When exams were finished I thought I would be back online a lot more. But I also was determined to kick the habit of being online for no good reason, and really doing nothing there but refreshing twitter and facebook or watching and reading things I wasn’t actually interested in. I wanted to be active on the internet; to blog again and better, to start making proper youtube videos, to actual go on skype more and talk to people…but if I was doing none of these things to get off the internet and do something else.

What ended up happening wasn’t exactly that.
Since exams ending, I have been very busy. It’s been truly, truly wonderfully busy; so many things that I had been unable to do for around a month leading up to exams, and even before that that I couldn’t do without working out how I was going to off set the lack of work done while I was shopping or watching TV or doing out. Just being able to read a book for pleasure (which I did immediately on the train home from my last exam) felt so good. The freedom was, and still, really, is, amazing.

But that business (in addition to preparing for a drama exam and, now, working at the local primary school) meant I ended up spending far less time on the internet (and for that matter a great deal of time away from home) than I had been, probably, during exams.
It certainly meant all content creation went out of the window.

Something of a lull, however, in my activities (well…debatable…my to do list for today was freakin’ long, but I am at least at home somewhat) has given me an opportunity to start the new blog I’d been planning. However, despite my long (and may I add, once I publish this blog post, completed) to do list, I managed to find a good couple of hours today to do basically nothing on the internet.

And I need to stop this.
It doesn’t make me happy.

In fact I felt really pretty low during it and straight afterwards. But then after going to the bank, spending far too much money on make up, going on our tred mill and watching the west wing, reading, having a bath…I felt really, pretty good.

I love the internet.

And I want to be active on it.

But I don’t want to be wasting hours on nothing.

This isn’t, logically, a hard balance to strike.

I just have to get some fucking self control.

In other news, the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 premiere was today. I only watched a tiny bit of it (have I mentioned today’s long to do list? Cause it was long…), but I was aware of it’s…presence.

I know everyone and their mother (well, probably not actually their mother…since…generationally…that wouldn’t make all that much sense) has been talking about how they grew up with Harry Potter and it’s like the end of childhood. But…yeah, same for me. The final Harry Potter movie comes in the same year as me turning eighteen, as me leaving school and as a bunch of other things that leave me feeling…like an adult. I know, I know that I am still really, really young, but I just don’t feel…like I child anymore.
Well, in some ways.

In other ways I still do, as the butterflies in my stomach at the Harry Potter music would indicate (and the fact that I own a wand and stuff…).

Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home...